The Birds…

as I found myself in the mountains once again yesterday, I was quickly reminded that contrary to popular belief…my accent is not that strong. So I was in Clay County, home of Richie Farmer, at my first school, Paces Creek Elementary. I enter. “Hey Paces Creek Elementary!!!!”, “HIIII!”, “What is your mascot?!” They all scream in unison, “The BURS!!” I thought they said birds. “Oh, the birds, I’ve never heard of a school with the birds as their mascot, that’s cool.” I am interrupted. “NO! The BURRS!” I still think they’re saying the birds, so I continue, “Oh, well, I heard that but what kind of birds are you…flamingos, peacocks, penguins??” At this point they are frustrated and I am rambling off bird species like a rap song. At the top of their lungs they scream “THE BURSSS!!” Then one little Kindergarten boy in the front row says, “You know like, RRAAAWWWRRR!” “Oh…the BEARS!” Their mascot was the bears.

And then, for the best story ever. There is this red faced little girl(you must look at her in the pictures, she has on a yellow shirt) in the front row nodding her head, answering my questions aloud, and just really feeling my speech. So, you know the drill, question and answer time. Of course I call on her. “What is your question?”…”I like your dress I like your hair I like your face I like your crown…” she says. “Oh well thank you, you are just so nice. You know what boys and girls it really pays to be nice to people like she just was to me…and because I want to show you all that being nice is so important I am going to let Selena(Selana) wear my crown.” She is giddy with hysteria. I give her the microphone to hold while I pin it on her frizzy little head. However, I quickly see that this was a mistake as she boldly puts it up to her mouth and SCREAMS (pointing her little finger right at her little Kindergarten friend in the front row)…”See Paige…I TOLD YOU STOP SAYING CUSS WORDS!!!!” I lost it…completely. Finished off the Clay County school system with Paces Creek Elementary, Clay Co Middle School, Clay Co High School, and Manchester Elementary. The song requests included “Wagon Wheel”…twice…which I sang while they clapped along(way too fast, I was rapping “Wagon Wheel” by the second verse) and the Dora the Explorer theme song(among others). Refused requests included the songs, “I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It” and “Whisky River”. I had a great time in Clay County…in fact, I think I just might be in love with a few of the children in Clay County.
This week included another Nashville trip(mock interview where we now pretend that one fake judge is Rush Limbaugh). It also included a birthday dinner with my friends Joshie, Chuck, Monica, Robin, Gerald, Cheese Dip, and Guacomole. And a work out that did not work out because I can not say guacoNOle. Oh well. Then Jade and I made a mad dash back to Lexington to transform ourselves into a fairy and a cupcake(I should already have turned into one by now, but somehow have not).
So we race into the door and I begin hot gluing my costume onto my body…safety first has always been last in my book…I just don’t have time for that. But my homemade costume was almost better than the real thing. I loved it. I didn’t want to take it off…however…as Jade and I left Sarahbelle’s law school Halloween party the rain quickly did that for me…posterboard is not waterproof…but my house was close. I love Halloween. I kind of feel like Halloween is everyday for me this year though. When you’re 24 and wearing a crown and eyelashes, it counts as Halloween. By the way, my ‘piece of cake’ costume was far from a ‘piece of cake’ to maneuver in social situations…noone could come within 2 feet of me and the only dance I could do and look cool was the electric slide…because it is solo.
Kentucky Monthly asked my mom, sister, and I to be featured in and on their Christmas issue(coming soon). The shoot was at a winery called Elk Creek in Owenton, Ky, and is a hidden treasure in our state. We shot there all day(pictures, not clay pigeons, I have to clear that up because there is a hunting range on the premises). The place was beautiful, my mom and sister were beautiful(you see why I always say that I am so not the pretty one), and they were decorating for CHRISTMAS…which I feel slightly afraid to admit I have already done…to an extreme. I put up my tree, sorry. I know a lot of people aren’t down with putting a Christmas tree up in late October, but I just couldn’t wait. I will wait until next week to show you a picture to be more appropriate.
Also, part two of my Christmas card photoshoot took place today at Corman’s Marketplace(the BEST decorating store I have ever experienced). It was like being in a snowglobe(and I was the chubby little snowman in the middle of it…no maybe a gingerbread man…whatever). I just know that the delightful men who own it really had me shaken up(laughing) as they flitted throughout the store like little elves with glitter from their head to their toes. You must visit this store. However, you will walk out looking like a mermaid. I swear coughed today and I could see a hint of glitter in the air…but maybe that’s from the Christmas celebration going on in my living room…
Went to the UK game as well…with my brother Pikachu, and sister Tinkerbell. It was fun.
And now, as it is 3:00 in the morning, and I am going to get in trouble by both my father and Kim Canter tomorrow for being up this late when I have to wake up at 6 and drive to Louisville, so I must head to bed. However, there is a reason tonight that I am avoiding going to bed moreso than other nights…because I know I won’t be able to sleep. I am headed west tomorrow to do one of the things that I know will be a highlight of my year. I get to go back and speak at St. Ann and Union County High School, my schools. I know that this will be one of those moments where the madness of this job(still the most wonderful job) and the hustle and bustle ceases for a second as I walk into those gyms…to speak to those children…in the places that made me who I am. I can’t wait to feel that.












PS…Happy Halloween and Merry Christmas!! We will be skipping over Thanksgiving this year in the Ervin household so that I don’t look like a big fat turkey at Miss America…kidding…maybe.
PSS…I’m leaving you with a picture…a Halloween themed picture to remind the world that I was so not cool in middle school…
malloryervin
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